Truth: In It's ILLEST Form..(Somtimes)

Sometimes I dont want to be here.

Sometimes I think of things I should'nt.

At times I just wanna escape to a different place where my existence never took place..

To most I live a life of joy and laughter.
TRUTHFULLY, its just a cover up..

I smile to bring forth other smiles.
?Sadly? But unselfishly I'd rather see another smile before myself.

Sometimes I feel abandoned.

The most important people seem to disappoint me the most.
While strangers constantly try to impair my happiness I seem not to budge nor notice..
But when a supposed to be"stationary" one steps one foot to the slightest amount out of position,
a bright light glares so hard it burns my eyes

Unable to understand reasoning, I cant help but to want to break down inside.

At times it seems like friends arent what they are labeled to be.
Deception and unloyal traits are starting to show.
True colors are slowly but surely making themselves vividly apparent.
Envy from the one's around me makes me question how we got this far in the 1st place..?

Sometimes...

Sometimes I feel like the one person who's job was to prepare me for things all of a sudden gave up..
Sometimes I feel like the one person who said they wanted to love me just decided to one day leave me.

Emptiness without a path to follow I STILL continue.

Seeking out a higher power in order to fulfill some calling that I feel buried deep inside of me I give up everything I have.
I give up trying to find an answer and just begin to deal with my problems the best I can.
Hoping that at the perfect time, a break-through will occur.

I've never in my life been suicidal
But just more less thoughtful about if my space I've taken up has been appreciated..
Do people truly care?
Or do they just pretend to?

Only time will tell...

Until then I can only live off a reality that tells me to keep pushing.

This is only the Truth..This is only my beginning...